Listening for Call

by Kayla McClurg

"I've been pondering this part of the quote by Ann & Barry Ulanov from Wednesday: "We go at God like a brass ring, wanting to catch deity and win the prize. We want so many prizes: fame, security, power. Often we want very good prizes: love, health, peace in the world, truth." One of my very good prizes is knowing what God wants me to do ---around here we call it "call."

I like the way Frederick Buechner puts it, that call is where our greatest joy meets the world's greatest need, but I'm not there yet. Maybe someday I'll be able to trust joy, and the world's need, as marks of call, but how much joy does it take to know you're called to something? I enjoy singing; is singing my call? Do I look for a way to bring singing into some place of pain in the world? How much pain does there have to be for me to be called to it? How will I know if I'm responding out of my own wounded co-dependency rather than my joy? Maybe I'm not ready yet for the joy/need method.

My method is more "listen and let be." Listen for what nudges, and nudges again, take a few inner notes, consciously loosen my grip rather than leaping on an idea and riding it around day and night, weighing it down with all my hopes and anxieties...."