f r e e d o m

i wish i could go back to my childhood and take with me what i have learned about what really matters. i wish i could find that little girl in her 3rd grade classroom and hug her and tell her that it’s going to turn out okay. i want to whisper in her ear and tell her who she is and empower her to follow her own path. i want to impart a new schemata through which she will interpret life...to let her know she is powerful and capable and uniquely designed by a God who is LOVING and patient and kind.

i am 42 years old.
it has taken me 40 years to learn to fully live in the moment...
it has taken me 40 years to be untied and united within myself.
it has taken 40 long years to fully FULLY experience the intoxicating, overwhelming, potent LOVE of God - the truth of which is undeniable.
it has taken me four decades to understand what i DO NOT need, to watch my white-knuckled grip let go...i was clutching so desperately to the make-believe.
42 years old and i am finally free.

perhaps when i am 60, i’ll wish i could go back to this 42 year old psycho and tell her she still has so much to learn. HA!
but that’s part of the freedom - knowing i am completely fallible, realizing i have such a LLLOOONNNGGG way to go - but now - as i “go”, i do so without shackles. my eyes are wide open. i have jumped off the rocky cliffs of the island prison and can fly!