orbit on the edge

i spoke to the old man in the elevator. i didn't watch the numbers. i may never see him again on this earth and i wanted him to know he was my brother. i struck up a conversation about getting lost on my way to my doctor's office. he nodded with understanding and halfway smiled.
and then a day later in walmart - i felt like people passed me, circled me, surrounded me. faces - crying babies, frantic mothers, everyone spinning...and i am catapulted back to first grade - spinning wildly on the merry-go-round. i'd always sit in the middle so i could watch the others spin, pretend i was the sun in my solar system and all these strange planets revolved around me.
it's a catastrophic day when one realizes she is not the center - that she's just a planet - perhaps only one of many moons - maybe a mere asteroid...or cosmic dust whirling about - a miniscule orbiting ion.
but then - how liberating and what a relief! i am not holding this thing together! but what i am is connected to everything else - my brothers and sisters - the earth and sky, the wind and the rain..the old man on the elevator - the boy who mixed my paint.